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I'm working and working on reviews and giveaways that need done. I have a lot of stuff going on at home with the kids' and their school with meetings. Please be patient and know that I'm not gone. Please keep checking back for new stuff!

Monday, March 1, 2010

I can't Win for Losing

Today has been horrible. Well, the 2nd half of it has. Jaxon had a doctor appointment this morning and then we come home and slept until it was time to go get Jeffery and Jaylin off the bus then go look at a house we were interested in buying. That is when it all went down hill.

Jeff don't like the house, I don't care for the town but I was going to suck it up. The whole way home all he did was complain about it. Fine, we won't get it...didn't shut him up, he said "we'll get it, but I won't like it until I fix a few things" yea well we don't have money to fix all the things he wanted to fix. I called the realtor when we got home and said forget it. Now Jeff is mad. I'm tired of the stress to buy a house, I give up. I have run my butt off paying his bills to get his credit up enough to get approved (which we did last week...yay...well, it was yay then) So now all my hard work is out the window because he don't like the one house we can afford.

We don't have high enough credit to buy a piece of land and put a modular on it (that's the cheapest way to go). So we're stuck! I hate it! I hate where we live, I hate the trailer, I hate the road, I hate the tiny areas we have, I hate the kitchen, I hate that my son and daughter have to share a room so we have a place to put crap in the 3rd bedroom. We even have a outside building that is filled with crap that I can't part with...or well, stuff that I have no room to properly display in here. We can't open the closet in the kids' room because there is a dresser in the way because that's the only place to put it with 2 toddler beds in there, and poor Jeffery, he's 5 and still in a toddler bed because we don't have room for a twin bed!

I hate that I almost break my neck just walking from one side of the room to the other because the kids have no place to play except in the small living room. I hate that my baby isn't crawling because we don't have enough room for him to crawl.

I feel like a failure. I hate myself and I hate where we live.

5 comments:

~*~ Melissa ~*~ said...

I hope you find some way to make things better. here's an award in hopes to cheer you up a bit. Big hugs, love ya sweetie :)

http://www.outnumbered3-1.com/2010/03/another-award.html

cstironkat said...

Sounds like you have been working so hard with very little appreciation. You are NOT a failure just because things get tough. Try to hang in there and remember there are those of us who do appreciate you.

Night Owl Mama said...

don't feel bad sweetie. It's a lot like that here. I can barely walk without having to jockey around toys, chairs and beds. It's insane when you have 4 kids and squeeze them in tiny spaces. One of my children live in the basement and my two boys share a room that is so crampy we are thinking of putting them in the masterbed room because its more square than long. WE both need to learn organization skills. I'm so cluttered and store so much its getting out of hand as well. HUGS>
We just need to ORGANIZE. Things will get better.
I had my oldest in a toddler bed til he was 7. NOW that's bad!

karenmed409 said...

Hang in there, Things will get better. We are so cramped here the last few months with an 10 people in the house, I am about ready to pull my hair out.

cstironkat said...

I do have another suggestion, what about a rent to own or owner financing. Sometimes you can buy land that way or get a house. With people facing forclosure taking over payments may be an option also. I know some renters who were able to move out of the house they were renting because they were able to take over the payments of someone facing forclosure. Now they have their own home. Just some suggestions that may help.
Good Luck,
Kelly

 
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