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Sunday, July 19, 2009

I'm Going INSANE!

I feel like a failure as a mother. My son will NOT listen to me for anything! The slightest thing sets him into a full blown tantrum where he hits and kicks anything and everything in reach (people included) We've tried timeouts...it don't work!!! He keeps doing it! He now hides things under his bed so he can pull them out after we've put him to bed, this has resulted in him drawing on the walls, on himself and eating things he shouldn't have a lot of (chips, cakes, cookies, ect) He has thrown a golfball (I have NO idea where that come from) THROUGH his window...shattering it, he just recently took a toy and hit it on the wall repeatedly til a hole formed through the drywall (because I couldn't get to him to let him out of his room immediately when he woke up), and just tonight I noticed a black line on the carpeted floor in the hallway...he drew it! Did I mention that we are RENTING? We have taken toys away, taken tv away, taken his favorite snacks away...he don't seem to be grasping the punishment! Heck, we've even spanked his butt quite a few times too!



What have I done wrong? We've never give in to his tantrums! He's not a spoiled kid, he KNOWS what no means, he KNOWS right from wrong, he KNOWS hitting is bad, and still he does things he KNOWS he shouldnt do! I've always ignored the tantrums, and tried to punish him when he does wrong, yet it keeps happening!



He's been evaluated by one child development clinic last year, but they did the evaluation just to pacify me because they thought I was overreacting to "normal 3yr old behavior", now he's 4, and the behavior has gotten worse! So now we're going to Charlottesville Sept 2nd to have them evaluate his behavior to see if they find anything wrong. His teachers said he's so good in school, but at home he's the spawn of satan!



Yes, I know that because he has speech issues, that causes SOME problems, but his speech has improved SO much over the past year and he's gotten worse. I'm lost as to what to do anymore, just now he threw a complete tantrum because he wouldn't get to the table and eat, so he hit daddy, he got his butt spanked, and he now will go to bed with no tv on, and water in his sippy cup. He will throw the same tantrum tomorow night, the only difference? Daddy will be at work...so I'll have to deal with it alone.



Any suggestions to get me through til Sept? I'm losing my mind and my patience...I'm already on antidepressants to help me deal with day to day life because I've recently been getting headaches really bad, on a lot of medicine for my blood pressure, it's a lot to deal with when I have a newborn, a toddler and a 4year old to handle. Not to mention I have to deal with his bowel issues (we go to Charlottesville Tuesday to a GI specialist for that) he has been back in diapers because he cant control when he poops.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Try to take him to do something with just you, or your husband. Maybe he's feeling jealous of the baby and is acting out for attention. My son does it sometimes, he's just one of those kids that needs to be reminded constantly that we love him.

Jennifer-Eighty MPH Mom said...

I like Melissa's idea...it might be part of the problem, but since he also did this before the baby, there might be something deeper rooted. Have you asked them to call you if there is an opening sooner? I'd be anxious too. Good luck Jackie - please keep us posted.

LADYHIGHTOWER said...

ok, Jackie. This sounds like a control issue with him against you and your husband. The fact that he doesn't act out at school really nails it for me. My oldest daughter was the same way. At school she was an angel;at home she was the devil incarnate. She was diagnosed with ADHD but because she was fine at school the nurse would not give her the meds! It was hell. With your son it seems like he has figured out that negative attention gets him loads more interaction with his parents! He's not doing all this on purpose but you're reinforcing the negative behavior. Even though it's hard try ignoring the negative unless blood is drawn. And reinforce even the tiniest positive.

Tia said...

I know this is really extreme but you could take everything but the mattress out of his room and have him earn in back by having good behavior. He also wouldn't be able to hide anything under his bed because the mattress would be on the floor. Good luck with everything and I would definitely call to see if they could get you in sooner, if not, maybe they could put you on a list where they will call you if someone cancels.

 
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